Do you think it is possible to make more money than you’re currently making? Do you know other people in your field, maybe with less talent and ability than you, regularly banking more money and living a far better lifestyle than you could possibly hope to afford? While it seems grossly unfair, actually, your own subconscious mind could be working against you, keeping you in the very financial rut you’re so desperate to escape! Top life coach, Dr Jane Cox, explains…
One of our biggest challenges is our emotional relationship with money. To cut a long story short, for most people, it’s a lousy relationship! We tend to have three main emotions attached to money. By far the biggest one is fear, followed by greed, and backed up by guilt. As you can imagine, none of these are good emotions to have attached to your money, but for this article, we’ll concentrate on fear.
Fear of money will never make you money
We all have fear attached to money, and the challenge is that our fear can take many different forms. Some people are scared of having money; others, scared of not having money. Most are scared of not having enough money, or of their source of money drying up. Others may be scared of spending money, or perhaps they fear that money they feel should belong to them will end up belonging to someone else. No matter what form your fear takes, one thing is certain: Fear of money, does not make you money. Ever.
Look at how we react to things we fear: We’re likely to do one of three things – lock up the very thing we fear behind bars so that it can’t hurt us; ignore it, and hope the problem goes away; or run like hell in the opposite direction! Bizarre as it may sound, we often do all three of these things with our money. We’ll explore each of these “transgressions” in future articles, but let’s examine one of the ways our mind takes control of our relationship with our finances.
One of the things we do is we put ceilings on the amount of money that we think we’re capable of making. And, just for the record, you’re the only one that is putting that ceiling in place! There is plenty of money to go around, so why does this happen? And where did your sense of financial value come from? Over years of working with people, and delving into their relationship with money, I know for a fact that, if I ask people how much money they’re worth every year, they will have a number. In fact, they have two numbers: Their ideal value per year, and their real value per year. And of course this personal value perception is different for everyone. Right now, you probably have your numbers in your head too! So where do your values come from?
Where did you get your financial value?
Bear with me while I tell you a little story, and maybe it’ll ring some bells!
Once upon a time, many years ago, a company had a job vacancy. And of course, that job vacancy had a value attached to it, which was the salary they were willing to pay for that job to be done each month. Quite coincidentally, you happened to be looking for a job at the same time, and one day you found yourself being interviewed for that position. They decided that they liked what they saw, and offered you the job. You grabbed it with both hands, and the deal was sealed.
You then went on to do that job, perhaps for several years. You learned and grew in that job, met interesting people, improved in skills and confidence, until one day, you decided the time had come to move on to another challenge. So you decided to resign. You walked away from the job, but what you forgot to do was to walk away from the value of the job. In fact, you took it with you as a souvenir! It was like wearing a comfortable, well-worn pair of pyjamas.
What you probably did was go back into the job-seekers market, wearing those comfy pyjamas, and without realising it, you went about looking to work for another company where you could go to work, wearing those same pyjamas. Perhaps you were looking for an increase in salary, but usually we only expect a few thousand pounds a year increase at most, so effectively what you’re looking for is enough money to buy some matching bedsocks, but that was it. Without consciously realising it, you were dressing up that same pair of pyjamas, but you were still wearing them!
This of course is what the problem is for many people. Without consciously realising it, most people wear that same set of pyjamas for the rest of their lives, just attaching a few bells and whistles, but effectively hanging on to their supposed value all through their working life.
That value was never yours to own. It was only ever the value that company put on that piece of work
Ask yourself a question: Was that value ever your personal value? No – of course it wasn’t! It was only ever the value that company put on that piece of work that needed to be done all those years ago. Even when you were doing that job, that value never belonged to you. And if it didn’t belong to you then, it certainly doesn’t belong to you now! So do yourself a favour. Put down that value. Give that company back your worn old pair of pyjamas. There is no reason why your entire financial path should be dictated by a salary you deemed fit to take some time in your past.
The thing is for many people, that salary forms part of a comfort zone. It is easy to keep taking on the type of job that you could do with ease. A job that doesn’t push you too far, or expect too much from you. We even feel comfortable operating within certain income bands. When that income band originally becomes your comfort zone, it’s often enough money to more-or-less muddle through a month. But of course as you mature, very often your expense base expands to include things like children, or a bigger home, or more credit cards. For most, their comfort zone is no longer such a comfortable place to be. In fact for many people their “comfort zone” is now an actively uncomfortable place to be! This is where courage comes into play. Do you have the courage to expand your horizons and look for new, better or more flexible opportunities?
Your financial possibilities are much wider than you’ve allowed yourself to imagine, and over the coming months we will explore different ways in which you have held yourself captive, and how you can set about freeing yourself up, and attracting more money into your life.